melissa peterson

The HIV of ART

2012-03-07T14:09:00.000-06:00

No, I'm not talking about Felix! (I'm shocked too).

Apparently a lot of people were looking for drawing advice, because that last post got over 150 views (on only the post, not even the blog. What were you people doing last week? It's a little too late in the year to assume it has to do with New Year's resolutions to draw more; we all know you gave up on those by the 12th of January anyway) and I got a few emails, and texts from friends with questions/comments, whatever.

At this point, I am pretty much convinced I can teach anyone to draw (Feeling a little cocky, are we?) But in the meantime, here's a summary of advice I handed out, and some things I thought of that I or my fellow art people have done and looked like an idiot for (Basically, we've paid the price for you, so enjoy).

These were some of my favorite ones, and seemed like a very good starting point. Discussing pencil choice, how to hold a pencil, and how to see, as well as paper choice and translating value scales!

What pencil should I start my drawings in?

This is a very loaded question. I'm not going to lie, I start half my drawings in mechanical pencil (I can see Bakker's shot to the heart face right now). But maybe don't do that (at least at first). You should probably be in the HB category (H's are lighter pencils that are used for more precise, thin line-work. Don't use them for shading later on in your drawing; move into the B category. And when I say move into the B category, I mean like B, 2B; don't start with 6B or 8B first, you go getter).

I only say this because chances are you are going to want to just go at your drawing head on from the start. What do I mean by all of this? Most people don't structurally build their drawings. They just outline shapes they think are right kind of like a coloring book. And if this works for you-fine. But a lot of people tend to make "sight assumptions" based on what they're drawing. Meaning, you tend to know you're drawing an eye, so you draw an eye. You don't draw THE eye you're actually looking at. Or, if you know it says Outkast on this person's shirt, you write OUTKAST on their shirt in your best block letter screen-print style, not examining how the figure affects the shirt's shape and way it lays, which in turn affects what the letters look like. So, while you're gunning to draw what you're drawing, rather than what you actually see (from life or from the photo), you're laying that drawing out in a 6B pencil like it's nobody's business. Which is totally fine until.. Oh crap, you can't really erase that line. Yep.

Because, chances are you have a slight to really heavy hand, and chances are you are drawing like you write. If you can use a 6B and be able to erase afterwards, kudos to you because you're probably holding your pencil right. What I mean by this is you aren't holding it like you're writing a note to your best friend. When we write, what we're actually doing is putting indents into the paper with the pen we're using (This is why CSI always has someone "finding out" what was written on a page above by inspecting the indentations in the next page). Which is what pushes back against, say, the ball of a pen and causes the ink to roll out and onto the page where you indent. This is why (most, functional) pens don't just squirt ink out when you hold them perpendicular, downward facing to the floor. The ball inside of them isn't experiencing pressure, and thereby isn't rotating, and isn't distributing ink.(Wow, I am sounding like a science genius). You may also notice that when you write for a long time, your finger grip and knuckles are sore. It's fair to assume you're pushing relatively hard to write. Well, if you do that when you draw, you may try to erase and notice even if you manage to get most of the actual pencil up, there are still nice lines in the paper. So, you basically have to start over. Congratulations! Don't feel bad, we've all done it.

Does paper really matter?

Short answer, yes. It really doesn't have to be expensive paper. I actually bought a couple of cheaper, non acidic drawing and sketch pads from Michael's or the like. (I don't really remember where I was, it was during college). You want something with a bit of tooth/grain, and less compressed (Typical computer paper is about 20lbs; the higher the paperweight, the thicker the paper) In other words, and I cannot emphasize this enough, don't do your serious drawings on computer paper. It has barely any sort of give. I don't care if you practice them, or whatever; that's fine. But it has a lower weight, which means it can only hold up to an eraser so many times. It also doesn't hold the graphite as well, so your darks really won't be dark, and will actually start to look reflective rather than darker if you try. Get an acid free, archival paper so your drawings don't turn yellow and disintegrate. You probably want something hot pressed, or fine grain, if you're working in pencil (I'm assuming you want to do portraits in pencil. If not, consult here). A prime example of really understanding the difference between computer paper and a good drawing paper is to feel them. Drawing paper feels thicker, and has a different color to it. Because, although they're both paper, they're made differently, for different things, and from different things.

How can I figure out if my values are right?

Of course, you can practice doing 3 value scales, 5 value, 7 value, 10 value, 15 value, 20 value, etcetera and work your way up to 50 values or until you're satisfied. But, there are other ways that are a little more "practical". Like I mentioned before with NP practicing her layout skills, you can also practice your value scales using photographs. The best way to practice is to start with a color photograph and "guess" (educated, people!) at a value scale. Do this until you basically have your whole estimated scale done. Then, change the photo from color to grey scale (You can do this in Word, Preview, etcetera. You don't need Photoshop to do this. If you really don't know how, I'm seriously questioning how you're even reading this right now, but just ask). But don't change it until then. From there, you can see if how you translate hue, saturation, and intensity are really translating properly into grey-scale. And you can begin to adjust accordingly (I can't say this enough, don't be embarrassed when you have to adjust). For the longest time, this boy in my art class was under the impression that under all circumstances, yellow is the lightest value after white. And logically, the principle seems sound when you consider the colors of the rainbow. But sometimes, a yellow and a pastel-ish purple can really look pretty damn similar in grey scale. Or a green can seem darker, but really be the same as a red. This is because your eyes work to categorize HIV (Hue, Intensity and Value) at the same time, which doesn't always work out properly, no offense to your eyes or brain. Realizing and recognizing this will later help you when you are drawing from life as well. Unless you only see in shades of grey (everyone's jealous of you right now), everyone should practice this.

Best,
MP

I let it all go, in my heart, in my body, in all.

2012-02-29T21:06:00.000-06:00

So, I always mean to shoot one of my drawings in progression. Like, full on progression. From start to finish, at maybe ten minute intervals (me drawing something like this is like an hour of work, to put it in perspective). But I failed again.

My friends from high school all used to joke that my progression would be like those drawings of horses/dogs/etcetera that start off with three circles and some triangles, adding like 6 concave or convex lines, until step six when it magically turns into a shaded picture of a horse.

But it's really not like that, guys.

Something I DO recommend though (Tom, specifically) is doing an outline layout and figuring out where everything goes BEFORE starting actual shading. Some things are going to look like they're in the wrong place/are going to look out of proportion without shading. My friend, NP, taught herself how to use "sight" measuring to get a gauge for relative size of features by starting off trying to lay out the face on a 1:1 scale on her own, then taking the photo and using tracing paper to trace the outline of the features as is. Then laying the tracing paper on top of her layout, and seeing how she did. She said this helped her to learn how to guesstimate proportions better, and that made sense to me.

I don't really know how I figured the whole "sight measuring" thing out (or if I ever did, really). Either way, do yourself a favor and don't take yourself so seriously as to just skip trying to lay it out and TRACE your image first. It seems easier, and it IS more accurate, but you really won't learn anything about drawing, or be able to ever draw from life (Note: It's very inconvenient to try to put paper over a model's face and try to trace her. Just trust me.)

I lay the drawing out, and get a general scale (of AT LEAST 5 gradient values) of where the most shadows are. Then I fill in a general tone (the gradient shade AFTER the white of the paper) so that I can use the tone of the paper for the lightest parts (duh). And I end up "over shading" (if you don't dig into the paper/go bat shit crazy with an 8B pencil you can use a kneaded eraser and lightly skim away some shading towards the end when you're really getting curves, highlights, etc in) and then adding in highlights to sort of carve the whole thing out. This is where the differences came in between the first and second picture.

Also, use a damn scrap paper to put under your hand. Otherwise you are seriously doomed and pencil gets everywhere.

That's all the advice I have right now.

Title: Zola Jesus: Avalanche

I used to be so much better at drawing.

2012-02-29T11:07:00.003-06:00

I know emilyvanhoff is probably going to die a little inside (and/or roll her eyes) upon reading this, but I'm being serious. Regardless of the reasons why (since I had a lot of reasons throughout my relatively short lifespan), i used to draw everyday. And I don't mean 'draw' as in scribble in the margins of all my papers (even though i DID do that, too), I mean actually sit down and set out to re-create whatever I was looking at, or create something new from my brain (scary, I know).

I don't mean to say all of these were glorious masterpieces (trust me, they weren't), but I worked hard at it, and I would practice drawing whatever I could. There are sketchbooks (that I can't get anywhere near) labelled by year, and there are typically at least two for every year since around 4. I drew in church, at family gatherings, and in the car (when I wasn't sleeping... I had "car narcolepsy" as my dad referred to it as, in which until about age 10, I could be in the car for anywhere from 10-15 minutes before I would just fall asleep. Thank God that isn't how it works when I'm driving). These sketchbooks are literally filled with some of the lamest drawings of my childhood pastor, my old cats dressed in outfits (emily, you'd love these), and a ton of other stuff. I didn't come out of the womb ready to have a draw-off with the likes of Leonardo (DaVinci, not DiCaprio... can the latter draw? Whatever), but I did take a lot of pride in trying to learn how to triumph in case that day ever came (joking... but I was super serious about drawing).

Anyways, not to sound like a complete bdb (big douche bag), but I won a lot of stuff in high school, got scholarships for college, and got an endless parade of my mother wanting to have everything under the sun framed til all my relatives had something hanging in their kitchens (I wish I was kidding, trust me). And I just sort of wish I had the same dedication.

One of my professors in college, Dayton, knew sort of "what I was". I mean, another professor sort of thought anything I BS'd my way onto the critique wall was pure gold. And surprisingly, that gets old real fast. And according to some of my art major friends, it's embarrassing that an elephant can draw better than any of them. So when I was in Dayton's class for the first time, I was feeling okay about it. I mean, I had heard horror stories from some slacker seniors about what a bdb he was, and some from my friends about making them cry during critique. But I kind of just assumed it was because the seniors were slackers, and because it was an intro class and he was trying to make my two friends better (this sort of reverse psychology was common in the classes I took at the Art Institute when they knew you were just skating around being good when you could be "great" and I totally think he saw that in them two, because now they are incredible at what they respectively do). Plus the class was full of graphic designers, so I knew I was going to be the best (just kidding, emily!)

Well anyways, it was during one of my initial projects where I was drawing that the first professor who thought everything was gold and sunshine told me my drawings "Looked great!" Dayton apparently had another opinion. Our first critique (that wasn't even a "finished projects required" kind of critique, mind you) for that class lasted over 6 hours to get through five students. And one of them cried. It was terrible, but I wrote down the gist of everything he said and used a lot of it later on in the class. But I'm also trying to apply it again to my art-life. I don't practice my craft as much as I should, or even as much as I want to, and there's really no excuse for that. He said a lot of things to me that Josh Ippel had kind of said about not letting yourself get in the way of just (and I quote) "making shit!" (crazy arm flailing gesture)

And with this new project with the ampersands I'm happy I get to basically draw everyday (these drawings actually take longer for me sometimes than even my portrait drawing does... because getting proportions right on a specific font SUCKS) But I've been trying to push myself to draw more technical drawings as well so I can keep my skills, and earn the right to really say "Fuck this" in my professional art life if I really don't want to stick to the photo-realism style. Plus, Karl Gesch seems to think he could draw better than me. And even though he's pretty good, like hell if I'm gonna let him lord that shit over me like he can with his woodworking abilities. That's right, I said it.

MP

Just let your spirit rise, and don't worry about, don't worry about the rest.

2012-02-28T13:00:00.001-06:00

Wow, update fail. I'd like to be able to say it was because I was too busy doing important things, but since I can't even remember all that I've been doing since the last post, I'd have to assume that isn't true. Not to mention I took pictures of the last ones before I added the "on" part. So that's a thing.

They're all sort of slooshed (not a word, don't care) about on the paper, so I'm just going to write the dates and their fonts in chronological order, and then indicated what color they were so you could take a guess if you don't recognize them.

Bell MT, Italic; February 2, 2012 (black)
ITC Garamond, Condensed Bold Italic; February 3, 2012 (black)
Helvetica Neue, 37 Thin Condensed; February 4, 2012 (blue)
ITC Benguiat Gothic, Heavy; February 5, 2012 (black outline)
PMN Caecilia, 46 Light Italic; February 6, 2012 (blue outline)
Romeo, Skinny Condensed; February 7, 2012 (black)
Chamption Gothic, Heavyweight; February 8, 2012 (black striped)
ITC Photoplay, Regular; February 9, 2012 (blue)
Auto 2, Italic; February 10, 2012 (black outline)
Trebuchet MS, Regular; February 11, 2012 (red)
Bell Centennial, Address; February 12, 2012 (black)
RNS Baruta, Black; February 13, 2012 (black outline)
Helvetica, Bold; February 14, 2012 (red)
ITC Ozwald; February 15, 2012 (black)
ITC Atalier Sans, Book; February 16, 2012 (red)
Mrs Eaves, Bold; February 17, 2012 (black)

Title: Zola Jesus: Manifest Destiny

Everyone knows I love the funny

2012-02-14T16:04:00.002-06:00

I am not a Valentine's Day person at all (single or not, Tom!) but I do enjoy funny things (as I have been quoted saying the above title to emilyvanhoff). Here are some things that I would love:

And finally, if anyone ever said this to me, I would die. I would know it was a lie, because it is impossible, but:

Happy Valentine's Day?
Go enjoy being loved and knowing you are. If by no one else but me.

MP

This too shall pass.

2012-02-13T14:04:00.001-06:00

So, I'm extra terrible at actually updating my work. But extra good at trolling the internet and discovering things I like. (This is probably a negative, since it's also known as wasting time)

Anyways, I have been reading some things about ampersands (nerd alert) and generally just looking at things about Felix. I'm trying to figure out what I want my project to culminate into. What I mean is that right now, its just an assortment of about 70+ drawings of ampersands on pieces of paper. I am trying to figure out how I want them to result and tie together to form some sort of body of work. But I don't want to just mount them on pieces of paper and bind them together like some sort of scrapbook without having some sort of tie in to my conceptual framework (Look at me, maturing as an artist). I'd rather do a project purposefully (especially one I like), with intentions and thought out conceptualization (is this a word? spell-check is saying yes...wow) rather than just make something and try to back-track and choppily form some sort of half-true but mostly-BS artist statement like I did throughout at least 3/4 of college (don't judge, you know you did too).

Anyways, clearly the research is just making me look at pretty things and random things. Some of it is actually making me think but most of it is just stuff I already have worked out and considered, which I guess is a good thing (that my thoughts are supported by other sources and not completely ridiculous). Maybe this isn't as productive as it could be, but I feel like it will be something by the time I'm done less than 10 months from now (holy potatoes, that is nuts)

Best,
MP

Title: OK Go: This Too Shall Pass

How 'bout no longer being masochistic?

2012-02-09T13:19:00.002-06:00

You're funny, Alanis (I would make an "Ironic" joke here but it just seems too easy).

Anyways, I was trying to think of something small and pretty I could make to celebrate a friend of mine getting engaged (ergo, married). and now that he has been engaged for six months, and getting married in about six months, it's probably about time that I did it (slacker). But honestly, I really couldn't think of anything that wasn't completely lame/cheesy. Or that was completely based in clocks (I'm not into forcing my love onto other people, even if he is an art major) And browsing for ideas really was just making me a little nauseous instead of inspired. Plus, I refuse to get a Pinterest account and waste significantly more of my time on the internet (if that's even possible) so...

I made this instead.

I want to make a print of this. Double layered; WI (where they both live) will be a nice light grey (gray, for all you gung-ho 'American way' spellers). The K's and the ampersand will be black. Going to print it on a nice piece of white paper and put it in a little frame. Voila! Still sort of cheesy, but I like to tell myself it's a pretty kind of cheesy and therefore validated.

I'm aware I'm slightly delusional, thanks.

Best,
MP

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air.

2012-02-02T14:10:00.000-06:00

So I'm currently in the middle of one of my three day benders (here's hoping it's only three days; I'm only on day two and I've had enough) of OCD. Which basically means I have made myself entirely miserable by being unable to sleep, not breathing deep enough and have organized everything in sight. I literally just spent the past 49 minutes organizing everything in my office, which many of my co-workers have already deemed "excessively clean" prior to this freak out (I work with a lot of social workers... not really known for their cleanliness and organization skills, let's be real).

So what did that 49 minutes entail? A lot of emptying out entire cabinets, drawers, etcetera, throwing a lot of crap out, and labeling/re-labeling. Anyways, in this I noticed that I have failed to update this thing in any sort of real capacity, because all of my recent internet time has been taken up by art-program research (to legitimize through research and studies why art programs are even necessary, one, and map out how the program could most effectively be set up (starting very broad with skeletal bones and refining)) and obsessively picking out all the things wrong with UGOM's website in detailed notes marked "FIX THIS NOW" (underlined twice).

(from left to right, top to bottom)
ITC Ronda, Regular: January 25, 2012

Zag, Bold: January 26, 2012

Morice, Regular Round: January 27, 2012

Ottomat, Bold: January 28, 2012
Bureau Grotesque, ThreeSeven: January 31, 2012
ITC American Typewriter, Medium: January 30, 2012
Xcstasy Sans, Light: February 1, 2012

Orater, Medium: January 29, 2012

Title: Florence + The Machine: You've Got the Love

i'm a sucker for ee cummings.

2012-01-30T22:57:00.000-06:00

But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over.

2012-01-24T15:57:00.001-06:00

So, as you probably saw, we're doing a whole revamp on UGOM's design. This includes updating the website and everything, and I'm taking a more hand-drawn approach (i AM turning into you, emilyvanhoff!)

So here's what's up:

The plan was to digitally color it with UGOM's colors, turning it into a header for the website as well as a design for some other promotional materials. Which ended up looking like this:

And yes, I love that it continues to look hand drawn. Because it is.

For those wondering, "Dios bendiga" is Spanish for "God bless"

Title: Gotye: Somebody that I used to know.

You gotta believe in the voltage that lives inside us

2012-01-24T15:37:00.000-06:00

(from left to right, top to bottom)
Stag Sans, Thin: January 18, 2012
Univers 39 Ultra Thin Condensed; January 19, 2012
Today Sans, Light Italic: January 20, 2012
Missionary: January 21, 2012
Kabel, Book: January 22, 2012
Ziggurat, Black: January 23, 2012
Matinee Idol: January 24, 2012

Title: Skrillex: Voltage.

Let me in or let me go

2012-01-18T13:20:00.000-06:00

This is just one (three?) of the new promo type things for UGOM (The group I do work in Honduras for)

I love to make pretty things for Honduras. Drawing type all day, every day (really just over my lunch break from my real job)

Best,
MP

Title: Lupe Fiasco ft Sarah Green: Letting Go

We would be missed if one another just did not exist.

2012-01-17T13:38:00.000-06:00

(from left to right, top to bottom)
TheSans, Black; January 9, 2012
Speedball No 3; January 10, 2012
(Above) Omnes, Black Italic; January 15, 2012
(Below) ITC Grapefruit; January 14, 2012
Super Grotesk, Bold; January 16, 2012
(Second Row)
Tall Films, Regular; January 11, 2012
Poppl-Residenz BQ, Regular; January 12, 2012
Bernhard Gothic, Regular; January 13, 2012
Matrix Script, Book; January 17, 2012

This weekend was complicated.

Title: Modest Mouse: Little Motel

Sometimes I just draw birds

2012-01-09T16:18:00.002-06:00

Literally.

Text from Iron & Wine's "Flightless Bird, American Mouth"

Text from Bright Eyes' "Poison Oak"

And then other times, I just make stuff to cheer my friend Dakota (Ko) up. We talk a lot about music that reminds you of someone, and he loved a design I did for our Honduras mission group based on an image of a tree down there we all refer to as "The Lion King Tree"

The text comes from a mash-up of two sources. First being Snow Patrol's 'New York', the second being Zola Jesus's 'Skin'.

Anyways, I got asked to design a piece based around the text 'Imagine' (cue John Lennon vibe here). So i will be spending the next week trying to work through the thousands of design ideas that immediately popped into my head and finding reference photos/fonts. Love my life.

MP

I pray that something picks me up, and

2012-01-09T12:57:00.003-06:00

My black marker kind of took a bad turn, so until I can get a new one I will be using whatever other markers I have in my bag, which currently features this lovely purple flare pen.

From left to right (Top row):

FF Meta, Medium; January 3, 2012

Garamond Premier Pro, Italic Display; January 8, 2012

Fanham, Display Bold Italic; January 4, 2012

(Bottom left) Suburban, Bold; January 5, 2012

ITC Bauhaus, Medium; January 6, 2012

Best,

Blog Title: Snow Patrol: Set the Fire to the Third Bar

Dance without me, you dance so gracefully

2012-01-03T12:46:00.002-06:00

New years was just clearly filled with fun conversations.

Top left to bottom right:

December 30, 2011; Hoefler Text, Bold Italic
December 29, 2011; ITC Officina Sans, Bold
December 28, 2011; ITC Stone Sans, Bold
December 31, 2011; Sentinel, Black
January 1, 2012; Plantin, Headline Bold Condensed
January 2, 2012; Filosofia, Regular

Best,
MP

Title: Over the Rhine: Latter Days.

How long has this been going on?

2011-12-27T16:10:00.003-06:00

Here's some proof that I'm not as much of a dead-beat as some people suspect.

Starting at the top left and reading like a Western book:
1. Giza, Seven Seven; December 5th, 2011
2. Bookman Old Style, Bold; December 7th, 2011
3. Minion Pro, Bold; December 10th, 2011
4. Parisine, Bold; December 12th, 2011
5. (Second Row, Left) ITC Garamond, Ultra Italic; December 14th, 2011
6. Californian FB, Bold; December 18th, 2011
7. (Bottom Row, Left) Bauer Bodoni, Black; December 19th, 2011
8. Goudy Old Style, Bold; December 22nd, 2011
9. ITC Century, Light Condensed; December 27th, 2011

Blog title? Cains & Abels: Dark Days

the dog days are over.

2011-12-13T14:02:00.005-06:00

So I've been making stuff, obviously. A lot of stuff (for me). This is partially a result of me being in an OCD kick (I enter in and out of these stages similar to a manic-depressive) so naturally my room, my office, and most of my house (my dad's home today, so who knows right now) is spotless. It also means that I have piles upon piles of work to show for it.

The second reason is that I always said during college (where I was an art and sociology double major, mind you), that I would have time to make work once I wasn't in art classes anymore (you understand this is ironic/moronic, but a serious statement, if you are/ever have been an art student). But then I started working. But then I realized my lunch breaks didn't require me to actually eat (hello college life again) so instead I make things. And for me, a two day drawing like some people you see on deviant art just isn't a real concept. I make my stuff in 30 minutes or less (like your average restaurant, I guess). Plus I have discovered that I don't want/need to hold myself back from making random "shit" just because I know (think?) it's not going to be my best work. As good ol' emilyvanhoff's potato print reminds me: Make shit! (Hannah Snow's blog updates also made me a bit jealous and wanting to make random things as well like my margins of all my notebooks from soc. classes tells you I used to)

So first comes the crap I made as a result of my maniac laughter (hence the update to the last post with the inclusion of a PoMo election campaign speech). A long time ago (hardly... it was like 2 years ago), Rowley Kennerk told us about a review of a show in which the work was referred to as a PoMo nightmare (post-modern)... and really, I don't know if a post modern nightmare would be good or bad, but I decided to make something hilarious out of it.

It features a simple drawing of Marcel Duchamp's The Fountain (1917) which is sort of seen as the posterchild for PoMo art (and kind of a nightmare in itself to some art theorists) I used Helvetica typeface to draw out PoMo (because what good PoMo doesn't love a little helvetica in their life) and based the nightmare font off of the Tim Burton movie A Nightmare before Christmas (I've been watching it, one, but two, sort of like PoMo nightmare... the movie causes you to wonder if it really was a bad or a good thing)

Second, a semi-update for my project: (I say semi because I haven't uploaded four of them)

Fat Face; December 13th, 2011

ITC Franklin Gothic Demi Condensed; December 4th, 2011

I'm a little less bum-tastic.

Best,
MP

Title: Florence + The Machine: Dog Days Are Over.

i want to buy you pretty things

2011-12-10T23:07:00.004-06:00

I actually finished two drawings off (I never do this... at this point in time, historically, i've typically burned them)

I know it well; pencil

MP 2011

Oh so insistent; pencil

MP 2011

[Vote PoMo, or don't]..."I reject this election and voting in general on the basis that “choice” is an illusion. If you must vote however, vote for me and together we can continue to make art for a more skeptical, subjective and horizontal world(s)." (source)

-is it bad I'm like dying of laughter from this? #artnerd

Title: Oceanship: Pretty Things.

I draw an alarming amount of women.

2011-12-07T23:31:00.002-06:00

MP 2011.

Title: Tom pretending to be me having a revelation

Heirloom

2011-12-05T14:22:00.005-06:00

So, I've managed to talk about Torres every day since December 1st. How? Well, December 1 was World AIDS day, so duh. On the second, I was asked about my clock necklace (yes, I'm obsessed, okay?) The third was an anniversary of the death of someone close to me, and I wore my "It's All for Ross" t-shirt. Three people asked me about it between going to Target and the supermarket. (On the) fourth I was talking to emilyvanhoff about clock lockets (it's a real thing) and the debate between a "Dali clock (a la The Persistence of Memory)" and a "Felix clock" ensued.Of course, the melting was a real red flag but that's not really the difference we were referring to. Although Dali's clock has a "Western face" rather than Roman numerals as well, it still has an "old-timey" feel because of the pocket watch look to his clocks (the winding button at the top, for instance. The gold and silver backing, the heirloom feel, etcetera) It is much more the style found in a "steam punk" clock rather than Torres's, which is reminiscent of a very un-personal, generic clock associated with school houses, doctors/dentists, and offices.

Anyways! Here's what I have thus far:

Paris Ampersand (Moshik Nadav); December 1, 2011

Herb Lubalin; December 2, 2011

Berthold Walbaum, Book; December 3, 2011

I'll upload the next round probably tomorrow.

Best,

MP

Title: Sufjan Stevens: Heirloom.

I should be satisfied.

2011-12-01T22:33:00.005-06:00

I started a new project (cue the hysteric laughter here... as if that's something new)

But for real, guys, for real. I have. I've decided to sort of let this take front runner, rather than some of my other projects (the paired photo one, for instance, is more of a "run into it" circumstantial type project anyway, even though I love it) because I feel it's something completely fitting with my conceptual framework (so fancy), it's something I actually love (I'm sure this feeling with change), and it's something I will actually do (yes, this is a factor sadly). Anyways.

Why is it so fitting? It combines some of my greatest loves. Ampersands, Felix Gonzalez-Torres, On Kawara, death, life, Banksy (hello, left field) dichtomies, Jenny Holzer, thinking, typography, etcetera (I can honestly keep going). How? Well, here's what I will be doing:

I read a quote from Banksy in one of my random art reading tirades (i go on these more often than regular people go on vacation, but I treat them better than vacations) stating "They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” (source) and I wrote it down in my sketchbook. Clearly, I am interested in concepts of life/death/afterlife/resurrection etcetera, so this just struck my fancy (old lady language)

Naturally, the quote had a giant circle around it with chicken scratch handwriting reading "Torres!!!!" (I write about Torres sometimes like a 13 year old girl writes about her secret crushes... I'm not ashamed) and "Holzer" ("You can live on through your descendants"). It reminded me of the resurrectional properties of his work (you can read more about that here because I'm not re-getting into it) and I wanted to do something with it but really had no clue. Then I came back to my ampersand work based on the tenous relationship of 'and', it's very survival pending on the existence of at least two objects and their relationship. From there I was like bang! connection. ('And' implies the existence of a relationship; a person's existence, according to Banksy's quote, can be carried on by the second relation following the 'and')

And then, this is where it gets kinda weird, I heard the song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz (you could not hate me more than I kind of do myself for saying this, trust me) and the lyrics "and it goes on and on and on". Mix those all together, sprinkle in a bit of On Kawara's "I am still alive" twitter readin' (Yes, I follow On Kawara on Twitter, sue me) and you had my frame of mind for this project.

So, what the heck are you even doing? Yes, I thought you'd probably be wondering that. I am banking on the idea that you can carry on someone's life through your own, through talking about that person and their ideas and etcetera etcetera (I get into it more in the post I linked to for resurrectional properties of Torres). So, from World AIDS day to next World AIDS day (pending my own death, of course), I'm going to make a piece everyday I talk about Torres, and blog a little about what those conversations are regarding. This daily process derives from On Kawara's date paintings series, in which he sets out to complete a painting every day to chronicle his existence. Except here, I will be utilizing the pieces as a signifier that Torres (along with all the other collective references from Holzer to Banksy to Kawara) is (are) still alive through that work, regardless of their current physical status.

I've set the goal to a year because that's how long I think it will take before the project can really fully be realized and established. If I am keeping up with it at that point and still accepting it conceptually (there's a chance I could come up with something better and more worked out at that time) then it will continue. But, no promises (I'm not into 'em)

Best,
MP

Title: Sufjan Stevens: Sister Winter

It's World AIDS day

2011-12-01T13:54:00.002-06:00

Why am I posting about this?

First: Are you serious? Felix Gonzalez Torres (and Ross) and hundreds of thousands of other people have died from AIDS. In a world where it is completely preventable and curable, that is an ABOMINATION.

Second: Last year at this time they had removed a part of the Hide/Seek:Difference and Desire in American Portraiture from The National Portrait Gallery in DC. However, the Brooklyn Museum has decided to include it and some additional features.

I wish I lived in New York, reason #5392078

Furthermore, the AIDS epidemic has been a bit of an independent research project for me. (I'm a nerd, get over it) I am not embarrassed to say that I spend a good chunk of time-change in studying the cause/effect relationships informed by skewed perspectives about AIDS, gays, and poor people.

There's a reason why a friend gave me a magnet for the side of my car saying Support AIDS Awareness.

And not that I have to defend this or justify this is any way, but no, it is not because I am gay (since I'm not, I'd love to see how that could be the cause), it's not because I'm black (because I'm not) or any other stupid stereotype you can come up with about the "type" of people who have AIDS, or in turn, give a crap about people who do. I am straight, white, and fortunately NOT HIV positive. But I care about it. So maybe you should ask yourself why you DON'T (if that's the case) instead of worrying about why I DO.

Best,
MP

I know it well.

2011-11-28T22:38:00.003-06:00

Some "in progress" shots of things I've just been trying to live with at this point. [damn you, emilyvanhoff]

I caved and got an i-phone. It would have actually cost me MORE to get a less tech-savy phone (what the hay? Yes, that's right, MORE)

So now I guess I can take decent pictures of my work, and then burn it faster.

Best,
MP

Title: Beirut: The Gulag Orkestar.

Task Complete [Now is the only time I know]

2011-11-21T12:11:00.012-06:00

Seasons always shift too late, it seems. Remember when we were young, when there was no need to know what you're doing or waiting for; when I'd share a life and you'd share a life? When all I thought I needed to worry about in this was why does she give a damn about me? But I was determined to prove myself; [I won't let you down; no, I won't, no, I won't]. And now I'll believe in anything.

Okay, speed it up; go! But then time is contagious; everyone is getting old. Now you're stretching out your arms to somethin’ that's just not there, sayin' you love but you don't; How they fake it, I don't know. I’m forced to wonder; Am I just someone from the past? Go on, just say it. Everything's fine? I've seen those eyes; I've watched them close at night. So give me a reason to end this discussion, because I can't believe the things you said concerning me and my life. And now its clear, she doesn't give a damn about me.

You know, it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown. I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.

[I gotta get away from this.]

Why can't you just be happy? And you breathe in, and you breathe out again. It's a long wait for an answer, and by then, it's you I can do without. In case you haven't heard, I'm sick and tired of trying. There's nothing left for me here.

And I, well, I'm not surprised.

[Something's keeping me from leaving. I just need more time.]

I don't think that this will work out on its own. You should know what's really going down below. I know I should have said something, but I've said it enough. So just give me a second darling to clear my head.

[Will you pray it be the end?]

You should know that the world was built on bones. But love always remains.

[I lie for only you.]

Waking up all alone, waking up so relieved. How amazing it feels just to live again.

and now i know just where i stand; thank god it's over.

Delirium Trigger: Coheed & Cambria

Dead Man's Bones: Dead Man's Bones

I'll Believe in Anything: Wolf Parade

Love Always Remains: MGMT

Coconut Skins: Damien Rice

If You Could Only See: Tonic

My Number: Tegan & Sara

Blue & Yellow: The Used
Unfinished Business (White Lies): Mumford & Sons

Radio: Alkaline Trio

Kissing Families: Silversun Pickups

Am I Missing: Dashboard Confessional

All Things Ordinary: The Anniversary

Alive With the Glory of Love: Say Anything

Teenage Dirtbag: Wheatus

Everything is Alright: Motion City Soundtrack

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows: Brand New

One Eighty by Summer: Taking Back Sunday
Leaving Chicago: Knockout

Cartoon Life: Keepsake

-----

I should probably explain. The task here was to take a mixed CD (my copy of Now is the Only Time I know for this one; discography included above) and have someone outside of yourself listen to it. From there, they pick two lines from every song that stands out to them (which you check against what the actual lyrics are for that line, to be completely accurate) [These choices are highlighted here]. Then, you are to take those lines and use them in a short story that has LESS 'original' text than song lyrics (preferably less than half the amount the song lyrics takes up) [lyrics are bolded, non lyrics are not]

So, I took songs that I originally was hesitant about using because they're different stylistically as well as thematically and used a mash-up of the narratives to examine the fluidity of language as well as the relativity of words' meanings as vulnerable objects, easily impacted by surrounding characters, premises and context. The final product really provides for a dichotomy; a seemingly personal memoir-esque text comprised of a majority of appropriated text (lyrics) that becomes almost genericized through a number of different experiences collectively related to the original, acting as a surrogate for the dichotomy our lives become when realized as both a personal and generic experience of the human condition.

Gotta go find another person to listen to a CD to continue.

Best,
MP

Now is the only time i know.

2011-11-20T14:29:00.006-06:00

Two lines from all twenty songs on this CD;

Delirium Trigger: Coheed & Cambria

-Will you pray it be the end?

-Remember when we were young?

Dead Man's Bones: Dead Man's Bones
-You should know what's really going down below.
-You should know that the world was built on bones.

I'll Believe in Anything: Wolf Parade
-I'd share a life and you'd share a life
-and now I'll believe in anything

Love Always Remains: MGMT
-Am I just someone from the past?
-but love always remains

Coconut Skins: Damien Rice
-Time is contagious; everyone is getting old.
-No need to know what you're doing or waiting for.

If You Could Only See: Tonic
-sayin' you love but you don't
-you're stretchin' out your arms to somethin' that's just not there

My Number: Tegan & Sara
-And I, well, I'm not surprised
-It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown.

Blue & Yellow: The Used
-Should have said something, but I've said it enough.
-How amazing it feels just to live again.

Unfinished Business (White Lies): Mumford & Sons
-Just give me a second, darling, to clear my head.
-I just need more time.

Radio: Alkaline Trio
-Waking up all alone, waking up so relieved.
-in case you haven't heard, I'm sick and tired of trying.

Kissing Families: Silversun Pickups
-seasons always shift too late.
-and now i know just where i stand; thank god it's over.

Am I Missing: Dashboard Confessional
-I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
-it's a long wait for an answer.

All Things Ordinary: The Anniversary
-I've seen those eyes; I've watched them close at night.
-And you breathe in, and you breathe out again.

Alive With the Glory of Love: Say Anything
-I won't let you down; no i won't, no i won't
-Okay, speed it up; go!

Teenage Dirtbag: Wheatus
-She doesn't give a damn about me.
-Why does she give a damn about me

Everything is Alright: Motion City Soundtrack
-Give me a reason to end this discussion.
-Everything's fine.

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows: Brand New
-I lie for only you.
-By then, it's you i can do without.

One Eighty by Summer: Taking Back Sunday
-Why can't you just be happy?
-Go on, just say it.

Leaving Chicago: Knockout
-I don't think that this will work out on its own
-I gotta get away from this; something's keeping me from leaving; there's nothing left for me here

Cartoon Life: Keepsake
-How they fake it, I don't know.
-I can't believe the things you said concerning me and my life.

This is going to be a bitch; I can already tell.

Title: Fever Ray: Now's the Only Time I know.

My phone is a piece of bleeeeeep

2011-11-14T15:40:00.002-06:00

So I've been involved in a project since graduation that I sort of failed to mention here somehow (Possibly because of my post detailing how many projects I have in the works currently that remain incomplete)

Anyways, I've been using my phone as a camera, since I don't currently own a camera. Problem being, my phone's camera---sucks. But, I've made my peace knowing that I don't intend for the photos to be blown up to some 8x10s and hung on a gallery wall. These photos are really just snapshots and studies while I sit and think (Er, move and think since I'm usually out when I'm doing this project)

So, I've been taking photos of paired objects. (See below for one example if you REAAAAALLY don't get what I'm saying here) Problem is that my phone memory also sucks, not just my camera. (Put it this way and save yourself some time: My non-smart phone sucks. Period) Who knew there were so many instances of paired objects in my daily life? Maybe it's sort of like how most people don't notice all the coupled people when til you're single on Valentine's Day? Anyways...

And to settle some curiosities for the not so interested/obsessive, why, why am I taking an interest? I love paired objects. I love the way they look (Not really for the symmetry people---in fact, they don't even need to be the exact same object) I love their conceptual framework (I over-think everything) I love their surrogacy (Repeat, I over-think everything) I just love them (I realize my last few entries have made me sound like I'm potentially constantly shroomin with all the love but I promise I'm not)

Anyways, I need to figure out how to transfer all of these before my phone inevitably explodes (It has the temperament of a "terrible twos" toddler being told they got nothing for Christmas this year) and transferring them one by one by sending them to my email is really getting out of hand. Give me ideas, por favor!

At the eye doctor... love

Best,

It was not magnificent.

2011-11-03T22:30:00.004-05:00

YAY so I'm finally becoming an adult. Why, you may ask? Because I drew something and fought off the urge to light it on fire (something emilyvanhoff has been trying to teach me how to do for about 3 years now)

Took the picture on my non-smart phone. (Someday I'll invest in a scan---no, I probably won't)

So it looks even shittier than it does in person.

Best,

Title: Bon Iver: Holocene

My mother's English, AND she speaks english!

2011-10-24T16:08:00.001-05:00

So, on the verge of worrying that I really haven't finished anything in awhile (I got the guilt when I was forced to 'eat my words', so to speak, after I posted about how I had about 100 projects in the works that are incomplete at this exact moment---my current tally is 63 when I re-examine, FYI, so I'm better than I thought) I found the energy to somehow finish something (to approximately 93% done) so I'm celebrating as finished due to the lack of optimism currently present and amount of optimism greatly needed in my life at this exact moment in time (aka, don't shit on my parade, Tom)

Things I feel are imparing my ability to finish things in a timely way:
-Sleep schedule: I do my best work at night. Unfortunately, I am currently employed (look at the way it sounds like I'm complaining about being employed in IL... a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, good Lord) and in being so at a job that requires you to work days, I have no ability to stay up as late as my brain would desire to facilitate the mind-state I need to get shit done.
-Drugs: Not the illegal kind, but the kind that have commercials featuring things like green butterflies and the like. Because my brain likes to work best at around 3AM, I need to take sleeping medication to keep me, you know, asleep. Unfortunately, the side effects of these drugs (I've tried all kinds!) that actually keep me asleep and help me fall asleep (I have had issues with both since I was about 10) are insane. I'm not even kidding. Not only do I act like a fool if I am up longer than a half hour after I take them (and trust me, I do), but I am just horribly un-functional in the brain during the hours I am awake and supposed to be (Literally, these groggy-mornings crap take until about 12:40PM to actually wear off which is ridiculous), no matter WHAT amount of sleep I get. I decided to test a recent theory that I don't actually need the drugs anymore to fall asleep this weekend, and found it to be completely UNTRUE. I didn't fall asleep until around 4AM Saturday night. Good Lord.
-Time: I hate blaming time, because I'm often one who's like "If it was something you really wanted to do, you'd make the time"... Unfortunately, I really don't find the time, even when I want to do it. Seriously, there are days you could come to me and say "Eat this tray of brownies" and I'd (begrudgingly) say "I can't. I have to go to work!" (Best toddler tantrum voice you could possibly read that in is completely appropriate) Really, it's getting to the point where there's so many things going on (No, I'm not just blaming you employment!) that my friends are having to actually schedule weekends in advance (See: my weekend in Aurora... scheduled by Cari three weeks ago)
-Personal Issues: This is really a sub category to Time, because these things are what are taking up my time. But, since this is not a diary (thank God), I'm not going to vomit my entire life out all over your internet. Just know that they're personal, and even if I like you I probably won't tell you all about them (personality flaw). So just know that you can pray for me (if you're into that thing), wish your good vibes my way, or just simply be patient with me and i'll pretty much love you forever (even if I have a funny way of showing it)

Speaking of things I love, this weekend was filled with people i love. here's just two of them and the weird flowerchild-esque ways we choose to spend our time together, running through botanical gardens and loving life in the great outdoors on a 60-something degree day in Chicago during the end of October.

I'll post some pictures of the book when I can.

Best,
MP

Pandora is really failing me.

2011-10-20T00:10:00.003-05:00

So it takes me* MONTHS upon months upon months to complete my end of the project we've been working on. And when I do, just in time to get a mock-up printed, what happens? He gets a new stroke of genius.

And I am trying to complete the original project, because project ADD is one of my biggest issues I'm facing at this point (put it this way, I probably have close to a hundred projects "in the works" right now, simply because if I can't get it perfect, I delay doing it, and then come up with something else to do, enabling the cycle)

Anyways, I haven't completed it. But I'm at around 85%, which is about 4x more complete than I typically leave things.

So I get this text:

"New idea. I'll get back to you on the deets. POGS"
(Peace out Girl Scout, for those who are like pogs? what a crappy nickname --I agree with you. it would be if it was one)

So naturally, I'm half "YAAAAAY<3333" and half "The fever has reached my brain and i'll have to be destroyed" about this whole thing. and the YAAAAAY half takes off, and causes me to respond impatiently. I really need to get me under control. Anyways, so I get a follow up message later on.

"Idea: what if we just wrote stories based on song lyrics? You have to use every line. And you can't just pick your sufjan shit or iron&wine, because that's sort of cheating since they're just storytellers anyways." Reading it I said to myself 'Sufjan is not shit!' and made a disgruntled face/gesture, but I got the drift. It is kinda like cheating.

But here's the thing. the first round of 10 stories literally took me SIX MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT. And I'm still not sure I'm done with them. And who can pick just one song? Not me. I change my mind everyday during lunch at work (when I'm reading sociology texts and practicing writing "Superb." in 102 different font styles---watch Empire Records and get back to me).

To be a smarmy bastard (because let's face it, it's who I am), I asked if i could write one based off of Mychael Danna's work on the (500) Days of Summer film (his work was instrumental, for those who don't get the irony here... no lyrics!)

He didn't even dignify it with a response. Now that's self control!

Anyways! Help a sister out. I need suggestions. I should probably like the song, but don't stress over trying to make that work if the lyrics are a good platform to start from.

And maybe while I have about 10 people working on picking a song, I can just focus on finishing this mock up so I don't have to add a lifetime onto the "How long I've been working on this" list.

Yeah, right.

PS: I should clarify: Pandora is currently playing excellent music on this station, but thumbs up one Explosions in the Sky song, and be prepared for nothing but excellent instrumentals, which really isn't helping me choose song lyrics, as much as my ears are enjoying themselves.

* = 'us' technically, but my OCD seems to be making it more of a personal mission to destroy myself.

Look at me now.

2011-10-10T23:12:00.003-05:00

So tom's been giving me shit that I haven't "done anything but bitch" about art and art history (he is not one to consider theorizing and writing in your sketchbook actually being productive... he tends to judge things by their physical results)

Anyways. I figured I should mention that I'm still working on my weird text thoughts having to do with the meaning of a repeated phrase changing where you break up the words (it sounds more confusing than it really is) so i made a mock up of what a page in my sketchbook looks like, since my phone's currently refusing to do anything but use the key pad (aka the button to snap a picture isn't currently functioning)

Is it embarrassing that I made a mock up of a sketchbook page just to prove I'm doing something? Probably.

Anyways, now that the proof's out of the way, I suppose I can talk about what I've been theorizing about. So, I've been reading a sociology text book over my lunch breaks at work (Yes, I am aware how nerdy I am, which explains why I'm single) and its been causing me a lot of grief but also peaking my interest. One, its forcing me to come to terms with my hatred of feminism (more the stereotypical feminism that sort of makes me want to vomit on the extremely hypocritical stance some women take). So, anyways, ironically enough abbychristensen (another stereotypical hater) texted me about how she feels it is bad news she is falling into a f-hole (feminist hole)

I, of course, laughed, because we both made it a sort of goal during our studies NOT to be pegged as such (for reasons I will discuss later in this)

So we instead managed to get into a discussion about how some feminist work actually doubles as institutional critique but isn't known as such. I sort of feel the same way about some (art historically defined) "homosexual" work. It's almost as if regardless of what your work is about or for, if you fall into the category of a woman or a gay or a minority, you're making "feminist/gay/minority based" work.

Which led me of course down the path of institutional critique and borderline weberian/marxist theory regarding social structures. Of course, art history as an institution is subject to the same sort of classificatory systems we use in other fields/realms, so it's only natural to attempt to "divide and conquer" so to speak as a way of compartmentalizing and comprehending art history as a whole through the lens of a categorical system. However, we tend to use that categorical system as a "if it's this, it's not this" sort of way, and therefore can misinterpret/mis-categorize a lot of works.

However harmless this may seem, it of course needs to be structurally questioned. Is it possible that these works have all been presented in a way that make it a one-motive piece (what I mean is that if its feminist work, for example, it's not institutional critique. when it very well could serve multiple purposes/encompass multiple interpretations) Moreover, is this miscategorization serving a purpose?

Does mis-categorizing institutional critique works that aren't overtly IC, then, serve to decentralize the movement and make it appear much smaller/widespread/significant? For example, it is easy to see how one could argue that performance based works (which a great many of feminist works are) would critique the institution's ability to contain and sustain the work. However, in a single motive classificatory system, if it's performance, it's not IC. By looking at these works, however, and denying their IC undertones, are you then serving to validate the institution? It's no coincidence that the institution controls and directs the canon of art history. By minimizing the appearance of IC, is it possible that the institution is seeking to validate itself and suppress opposition?

Anyways, food for thought I suppose, if any of that managed to make sense. Now, onto my strange feelings for feminism. One, feminist movements, on the surface, tend to be a bit of a one liner for me (I would compare my feelings towards its surface as those of Rowley Kennerk for Eva Hesse's "Hang Up" piece) I mean, come on... read about some feminist art and you're bound to encounter performance work involving some sort of deli meat.

Also, of course this is more on the individual, but certain feminists I have come into contact with tend to get angered at those women who would RATHER cook/clean/raise children, be a teacher/secretary/do other typical "woman" work, etcetera, when the whole premise of feminism is rooted in a woman's ability to CHOOSE in the same way a man gets to. Which just sort of makes me angry.

I also find it a bit irritating, as a ~~woman~~ minority (I'm going to start using the term minority now on, since this applies to non dominants across the board---non whites, females, homosexuals, disabled, etcetera) that I should have to "deal" with that in my art. I was constantly told that throughout college. "Melissa, you're going to have to deal with the fact that you're a woman sometime"----um...WHY?

My sociology background would naturally cause me to rebel against this obligatory task. I always wondered to myself why the white heterosexual males didn't NEED to address THAT sometime. I mean examining the world's population, white males are outnumbered at least 10 to 1. I understand, dominant culture and privilege, trust me, they're concepts I more than get and I know they don't have anything to do with actual numbers, ratios and percentages. But I feel like me having to "deal with it", that is, asking me to reconcile my gender/race/disability status/sexuality, in order to participate in a dialogue is like asking me to JUSTIFY my presence and establish credibility that is hampered by my race/gender/disability status/sexuality. To me, that mandatory justification sounds and looks a lot like OPPRESSION rather than encouraging equality.

I need to stop thinking about this.

MP

Title: Oddly enough, Chris Brown: Look at me now ft Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes. (i realize the irony of naming a blog about feminism after the title of a Chris Brown song.)

23 Sept 2011

2011-09-23T11:25:00.001-05:00

"And to think, all it took to get you protesting again was for a gay man not to get a shout out"
-Tom.

So, I made the screen.

Had a fantastic day up at our old alma mater with emilyvanhoff last Friday. Spied on some work (I'll see more in November, wasn't much up) Saw the show up at Seerveld currently (Everyone Knows Everything) which I'll dedicate some more time to writing about in the next few entries I make (because I loved it) Got some inter-library loan books (probably one of the best things to ever happen to me or a library... especially Trinity's since it's art book section is rather lacking and ILL gives us the opportunity to get books from libraries like SAIC, Columbia, DePaul, etcetera)

Anyways, the screen resulted in a t-shirt. Next round is going to result in a lot more items, I'm sure (we sort of ran out of time because of an older class's need for the room we needed to work in... so we went to the Thrift Store instead)

In the meantime, though, I have my t-shirt and my new clocks that came in:

Gracias, Etsy. You have allowed me to now have a necklace and bracelet with clocks. Add that to the pins emilyvanhoff made me and I've clearly gone insane.

Conniption reborn

2011-09-13T13:45:00.003-05:00

So now that I'm done having my mini conniption fit that I threw yesterday while feeling like a [very adult world concerned] toddler, I can post this from my Tumblr with some additional thoughts/clarity and less emotional reaction.

So I was trying to suppress the mini conniption fit I was bound to have after this weekend, after my friend emilyvanhoff texted me about the FGT [Felix Gonzalez-Torres] retrospective currently taking place at the Art Institute of Chicago. I’m not at all upset by the retrospective, rather elated at the opportunity to see so many works in person. The problem here would rather be found in the wall text. I have an entire blog post about this so I won’t go into it much here but in short, no mention of Ross Laycock, Torres’ lover and ‘muse’ (for lack of a better term here) of his work.

Then, I hear about this art tour that is done WHILE torres’ exhibit is up. No mention. Of him, nor Robert Gober, who for those who haven’t been to the AI, has an entire room in the Modern Wing [which was actually a little reminiscent of my interim class with Rowley Kennerk in which we were assigned artists to research, and when prompted by Matt Stolle to answer whether or not Robert Gober was a homosexual, the young man assigned to him responded that his research "made no indication" of this fact, which was hilarious considering it's actually mentioned in a lot of the books about him at the School of the Art Institute's library, where we were sent to research our artists (Note: I had Felix... how fitting)].

If this ends up being a more than one time tour then I will apologize for my insane tirade but come on, AI! It was an interesting interview, don’t get me wrong. I was happy to hear they had mentioned Robert Rauschenberg, Cy Twombly and Jasper Johns (although very briefly). It was interesting that they had chosen to look at works by Agnes Martin and Gustave Caillebotte [Two artists not typically "known" for their homosexuality]. But it would have been nice to have more of a range of artists, since there are so many currently featured at the Art Institute. Not as a "gay witch hunt" outing, but more as a reflection on how different artists were impacted by homosexuality and the role it played in their work [whether or not it even consciously did, for instance].***

It also definitely warranted more than 11 minutes as well. I mean, am I the only insane person here?

***I say consciously because I understand that from my perspective as a woman, I am not always producing work that seems to directly respond to the fact that I am a woman, but that simple fact can find itself informing some of the decisions I make or do not make, just as my upbringing and other aspects of my culture can.

Its all for Ross pt II

2011-09-12T12:45:00.005-05:00

My lunch break was so productive. I didn't eat anything (who needs to?), I just finished my drawing for the most part. Read pt. 1 of this entry to get the gist.

Sorry for the crappy photos. They're taken with a cell phone (and not a 'smart' one at that) The full version is crooked, so the letters at the bottom appear to be extremely (relative) angled. But you can see from the close-up they're not. I mean, they're angled a bit but nothing I can't alter once it's scanned.

Note: Hand kerning/tracking is a difficult process when trying to replicate tiny typewritten text from a photocopied letter from 1988. [my life is so ridiculous, whatevs]

I love, love, love that the clocks and letters are now the same thickness. That was one of the things that was driving me NUTS before. Also, now "its all for" and "We are synchronized [...]" are now matching in type styles.

Quit laughin', that crap erks me.

And yes, some of the letters in those two phrases appear to be faded or too thick, etcetera. It's called distressing... and it's also called replicating the original typeface off of the letter. aka completely intentional. It's not written in a straight line, it's not consistently kerned/tracked, it's not consistently typed... this was 1988 typewriter people. Not photoshop with dafont.com

MP

EDIT

I got a better picture for y'all:

It's all for Ross.

2011-09-10T15:19:00.007-05:00

Sometimes, the institution really upsets me. I mean, I'm not one to naively believe we could completely do without structure at this point, but I just feel like things are taken advantage of, which is why I tend to have the utmost respect for institutional critique. (I provided a link to wikipedia for insitutional critique, for those of you who may be searching for context here unfamiliar with the term)

What is with this sudden (rebirth of) animosity? Well, my friend emilyvanhoff texted me a photo of Felix Gonzalez-Torres's retrospective currently up at the Art Institute (she has seen firsthand what kind of powerful surge of random emotion comes over me when it comes to FGT so she sends me pictures of his work when she sees it...what a good friend [total emily shout-out]) (She sent me a picture of Untitled (Golden) (1995) for those who are curious.

Anyways, the text on the wall that the museum places---this is where it stems from. She pointed out to me that it seems absurd to her that they can post such text with no mention of Ross Laycock, whom Felix identified in a number of interviews with Robert Storr without remission as his audience. ["When people ask me, 'Who is your public?' I say honestly, without skipping a beat, 'Ross.' The public was Ross. The rest of the people just come to the work."]

No mention. I found myself wondering about the number of reasons the museum could choose to leave this out, and I won't get into what I specifically suspect is the case here, but it just seems wrong to me that they would choose to omit this information, particularly because so many people respect the institution as the source of correct, truthful and wholly complete information. Although this is not the case, as many involved particularly in art history are aware, it is presented as such to the general public. Which I suppose shouldn't concern me as much as it does but, in short, it does. It just feels like robbery.

Anyways, emily and i meditated on some solutions to make ourselves feel better about this issue, which included vandalism by way of addition of more vinyl lettering (if this happens, it honestly wasn't us), a sign featuring more information to be worn by someone during museum hours, and t-shirts (Torres himself had a ~~pension~~ penchant for making t-shirts)

So, I made up a few mock screens.

Oh my life. Why oh why do I care so much about FGT?

EDIT:

One, fixed the lettering to a more structured Helvetica font which is cleaner (and more what I wanted) than the faux distressed look from before. Two, got rid of the black band. Three, re-spelled "synchronized" (thanks guys for being a good spell check... not!) I still have some issues with a couple of things but yeah. Here's this version. If you want to hear more about why I thought the first ones needed change, please read the comments between Emily and I.

Technical aspects: utilized the typewriter style text from Felix's letter to Ross, as well as his traditional drawings of two clocks synchronized to the same time, representing him and Ross. In addition, I utilized a line from his letter to Ross that you're probably familiar with if you're looking at this blog (it's my header, champs) which I feel gives the slogan some context. Simply slogan-ized Torres' interview answer (posted above) into "It's all for Ross", and since Torres didn't use apostrophes in his letter to Ross, I didn't use them in the slogan. Also, the "We are synchronized [...]" is set up grammatically the same as Felix's letter (capitalizations, sentence structure, spellings, punctuation, etcetera)

Might print these.

MP

Hail Mary

2011-09-08T23:14:00.001-05:00

So I've been tediously obsessing lately, aka I'm going through what Tom [lovingly] refers to as a "crazy person freak out" of OCD. Symptoms of this include: obsessingly writing out ideas all over my sketchbook, taking on tedious drawings that cause my right thumb to shake (it happens, oh well) and causing people to overuse the phrase "How....? What did you do that for?"

My most recent endeavor has been a gift for two of my family members. My dad's side of the family is (no longer church going) Catholic, and I collect rosaries. (Not for any personal underlying belief in some sort of juju-esque property of rosary beads, but merely because I find them to be beautiful) Insert here a conversation at Nana's 70th birthday party involving if any one of the children could recite the Hail Mary. (All stumbled through it; I knew it. Points!)

Anyways, Nana was talking about how beautiful she always thought the prayer was, while Karen (my aunt) was saying she would like to learn it. Insert Melissa's random art project thoughts!

So, I'm in process to completing the prayer that will eventually transformed into a screen of a larger variety on a nice linen paper.

The prayer goes as follows:
Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and in the hour of our death,
Amen.

Technical details:
I had to design some of my own fonts for this one, since the premise came to me (and apparently only me***) in a dreamlike fashion (gracias, Ambien). I first wrote out Amen in Helvetica, then used some sketches of rosary beads (Hail Mary's are traditionally said with rosary beads in hand) that I had made off of the rose-beaded rosary I have from Czech.

'Jesus' is designed after the cross design, which is typically Celtic in nature (like my familia)
'Full of grace', 'blessed [...]', 'Holy Mary [...]', 'now and [...]' lines are written in a Celtic font based off of a few pages in the Book of Kells

I still have to finish up 'hail mary', 'the lord is with thee' and 'pray for us sinners' lines, which are currently just sized out in helvetica. Then I am going to clean up all the line work to make them crisper.

Anyways, progress is progress.

Best,
MP

***This is assumed after a tedious search via google for similar ideas

Recent work I've been admiring

2011-09-08T23:13:00.001-05:00

"still” by liz collini

The desire for the ideal self leads women and men to believe that things can always get better, that identities can be more solid and ordered, that life can function more smoothly. This in turn leaves people feeling dissatisfied with the present, alienated from social relations and constrained in their self-expression.
-Zygmunt Bauman

Death of Marat

2011-09-08T23:10:00.003-05:00

“Death of Marat” a 1793 painting in the Neoclassical style by Jacques-Louis David

I did a screen of this over a bath ad in college. Oh printmaking with emilyvanhoff.

It is one of those days.

2011-08-26T13:01:00.001-05:00

(via fonzdee)

owndisorder:

(Source: posiesinmypocket)

(Source: ggnt)

(by M.Sky Photography)

(via dreamingwithahighhope)

they-call-me-nathan:

(Source: youmustbefuckinghigh)

I fell in love, for an (maybe not so) obvious reason.

2011-08-25T23:21:00.001-05:00

~~Don’t Ask, Don’t~~ TELL
With the formal end of DADT less than a month away, GQ’s Chris Heath spent six months assembling an oral-history-of-sorts about what it was like to be a gay man serving in the U.S. military. The resulting piece, which appears in our Sept 2011 issue and runs a bit longer at GQ.com, is funny, sad, horrifying and, above all, surprising. Life under DADT is both everything—and nothing—like one might expect. A brief sample below, from a heartbreaking section of the piece titled “Invisible Partners”:
Air Force #4 (senior airman, four years): “Right now our relationships don’t exist.”
Air Force #3: “I’ve had three deployments [while] with the same person. Every time it’s been ‘All right, see you later.’ All the spouses get together, do stuff. He’s just there by himself, fending for himself.”
Marines #2: “The relationship lasted for about four years, but I always felt like I was disrespecting him, to have to pretend he didn’t exist when I went to work. When I got deployed, he was there with my family when I left. It kind of sucked—to shake his hand and a little pat on the back and ‘I’ll see you when I see you’ kind of thing. And when you’re getting ready to come back, the spouses were getting classes—here’s how you welcome your Marine back into the family—and my boyfriend didn’t get any of that. I had a really hard time adjusting to being home. We tried to make it work for a year but he was getting more and more paranoid about people finding out about us. It killed me that he felt that way because of me. I don’t think we ever really had a chance, ultimately.”
Air Force #3: “When I was deployed, every Sunday we would sit down on opposite sides of the world and we would each order a pizza and we would watch a movie together over Skype. We weren’t doing anything bad except trying to spend some time together. But there was no ‘I love you.’ Certainly nothing sexual, or anything like what some straight guys do over Skype.”
Navy #2 (captain, twenty years): “Personally, I haven’t had a lot of struggles. The hardest thing that I faced was about eight years ago. I was dating somebody for about two years who had gotten out of the army. He was HIV positive, and I didn’t know that, and he ended up dying—it just happened very quickly. I am not positive, luckily. So I had a lot of difficulties grasping with that personally, dealing with his death, and I had to take time off work, but still not tell them. I couldn’t go to the doctor or the psychologist. There wasn’t really anybody to talk to.”

How media clearly reflects the sexism and the racism we cannot see in ourselves.

2011-08-25T23:20:00.001-05:00

I wanted my first-year film students to understand what happens to a story when actual human beings inhabit your characters, and the way they can inspire storytelling. And I wanted to teach them how to look at headshots and what you might be able to tell from a headshot. So for the past few years I’ve done a small experiment with them.

Some troubling shit always occurs.

It works like this: I bring in my giant file of head shots, which include actors of all races, sizes, shapes, ages, and experience levels. Each student picks a head shot from the stack and gets a few minutes to sit with the person’s face and then make up a little story about them.

Namely, for white men, they have no trouble coming up with an entire history, job, role, genre, time, place, and costume. They will often identify him without prompting as “the main character.” The only exception? “He would play the gay guy.” For white women, they mostly do not come up with a job (even though it was specifically asked for), and they will identify her by her relationships. “She would play the mom/wife/love interest/best friend.” I’ve heard “She would play the slut” or “She would play the hot girl.” A lot more than once.

For nonwhite men, it can be equally depressing. “He’s in a buddy cop movie, but he’s not the main guy, he’s the partner.” “He’d play a terrorist.” “He’d play a drug dealer.” “A thug.” “A hustler.” “Homeless guy.” One Asian actor was promoted to “villain.”

For nonwhite women (grab onto something sturdy, like a big glass of strong liquor), sometimes they are “lucky” enough to be classified as the girlfriend/love interest/mom, but I have also heard things like “Well, she’d be in a romantic comedy, but as the friend, you know?” “Maid.” “Prostitute.” “Drug addict.”

I should point out that the responses are similar whether the group is all or mostly-white or extremely racially mixed, and all the groups I’ve tried this with have been about equally balanced between men and women, though individual responses vary. Women do a little better with women, and people of color do a little better with people of color, but female students sometimes forget to come up with a job for female actors and black male students sometimes tell the class that their black male actor wouldn’t be the main guy.

Once the students have made their pitches, we interrogate their opinions. “You seem really sure that he’s not the main character – why? What made you automatically say that?” “You said she was a mom. Was she born a mom, or did she maybe do something else with her life before her magic womb opened up and gave her an identity? Who is she as a person?” In the case of the “thug“, it turns out that the student was just reading off his film resume. This brilliant African American actor who regularly brings houses down doing Shakespeare on the stage and more than once made me weep at the beauty and subtlety of his performances, had a list of film credits that just said “Thug #4.” “Gang member.” “Muscle.” Because that’s the film work he can get. Because it puts food on his table.

So, the first time I did this exercise, I didn’t know that it would turn into a lesson on racism, sexism, and every other kind of -ism. I thought it was just about casting. But now I know that casting is never just about casting, and this day is a real teachable opportunity. Because if we do this right, we get to the really awkward silence, where the (now mortified) students try to sink into their chairs. Because, hey, most of them are proud Obama voters! They have been raised by feminist moms! They don’t want to be or see themselves as being racist or sexist. But their own racism and sexism is running amok in the room, and it’s awkward.

This is why I love sociology.

Trevor Smith

2011-08-25T23:16:00.001-05:00

Trevor Smith (2010)

"Both sentences were said to me by a man in response to his girlfriend having left the room in tears."

It’s easier is in acrylic paint. You can go is in pencil, erased.

I'm alllllll about artists getting publicity for things I find phenomenal. And this was one of them. One, Lord knows I love type based work. Two, Lord knows I love conceptual pieces. Three, Lord knows I love loss and relationships and alllll that rolled into one.

So, three outta three. Gets a mention.

NPR Coffee rings

2011-08-25T23:11:00.001-05:00

wtlossfoodblog:

Physics of coffee rings explained via NPR.

I had an obsession with coffee rings about a year back (still do... had, who are we kidding?)

Anyways, I also have an obsession with NPR... is it weird at all that I was drinking coffee reading this? Love.

You're breaking my heart.

2011-08-25T23:10:00.001-05:00

Notes from Jo
Keith Arnatt (early 1990s)
Notes left by the artists wife, which became loaded with emotion and meaning after her death.

Friend posted these. I had never seen them before or heard the name, but my God. I literally felt my breath leave my lungs on this one.

reminds me of... yep, FGT

2011-08-25T23:08:00.002-05:00

(by slothic)

I'm in love with photos so simple of paired items. Do I even need to say why?

Quote stalked a bit this day. pt. III

2011-08-25T23:07:00.002-05:00

"And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it’s enough. I really do because they’ve made me happy. And I’m only one person."

— Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)

"Its not our abilities that show who we really are. It's our choices" -Harry Potter.

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."

— Douglas Adams

"We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal."

— Paulo Coelho

“…and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means I survived.”

—

Chris Cleave (Little Bee)

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”

—	James Baldwin

Glasses.

2011-08-25T23:06:00.001-05:00

more t (by b r e e)

Blood Orange Cocktails By The Pool (by Leilaleilaleila)

I have this whole thought process about glasses/cups/mugs, etcetera for an art project. I'll expand more on it when the time comes but.

Beds. Windows. Decay. Love.

2011-08-25T23:04:00.001-05:00

(by Destiny Dawson)

(by nikolinelr II)

(by leslie m k)

talentwasted:

destroying everything seems like the best option

birdsong (by scott w. h. young)

I remember this day. I literally spent a good chunk of the day looking at pictures of beds and windows and deconstructed rooms.
How I sort of wish I was unemployed again. I remember how much I loved that day.

Quote stalked a bit this day. pt.II

2011-08-25T23:03:00.001-05:00

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart."

— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

— Paulo Coelho

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."

— J.K. Rowling

"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words."

— Elbert Hubbard

"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

— Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

— Kurt Vonnegut (Mother Night)

“It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.”

— Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Cy on Roman Steps reminder

2011-08-25T22:59:00.004-05:00

(by Fernando Farfán)

This reminded me of Cy + Roman Steps (1952) by Rauschenberg, and seemed appropriate in light of Cy Twombly’s recent passing.

Quote stalked a bit this day.

2011-08-25T22:56:00.004-05:00

"You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and encourage by taking away people’s initiatitive and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves."

— Abraham Lincoln

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

— Martin Luther King Jr. (I Have a Dream: Writings and Speeches That Changed the World)

"Stories are in one way or another mirrors. We use them to explain to ourselves how the world works or how it doesn’t work. Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness."

— Neil Gaiman (Smoke and Mirrors)

"The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back."

— Abigail Van Buren

"Most of the time one night blends into the next and weeks blend into weeks and months into other months. And sooner or later we all die. But at the beginning of the night anything’s possible."

— Lauren Oliver (Before I Fall)

"People are by and large a product of where they were born and raised. How you think and feel’s always linked to the lie of the land, the temperature. The prevailing winds, even."

— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known."

— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

"‘How can one still have ideals when there are so many blind, deaf, and mad people in the world? How can I remorsely enjoy the light another cannot see or the sound another cannot hear? I feel like a thief of light. Have we not stolen light from the blind and sound from the deaf? Isn’t our very lucidity responsible for the madman’s darkness? When I think about such things, I lose all courage and will, thoughts seem useless, and compassion, vain. For I do not feel mediocre enough to feel compassion for anyone. Compassion is a sign of superficiality: broken destinies and unrelenting misery either make you scream or turn you to stone. Pity is not only inefficient; it is also insulting. And besides, how can you pity another when you yourself suffer ignominiously? Compassion is as common as it is because it does not bind you to anything! ‘Nobody in this world has yet died from another’s suffering.’ And the one who said that he died for us did not die; he was killed.’"

— E.M. Cioran’s “The Vanity of Compassion” from the collection On the Heights of Despair

FELIX FELIX FELIX

2011-08-25T22:54:00.003-05:00

Untitled (Petit Palais), Felix Gonzalez-Torres, 1992.
Lightbulbs, electrical wire, porcelain sockets
Length: 62 ft.
Philadelphia Museum of Art

Felix Gonzalez-Torres, 1994

Untitled

Felix Gonzalez Torres.

felix gonzalez-torres

"Things don’t have to be extraordinary to be beautiful. Even the ordinary can be beautiful."

— Wicker Park

Needless to say, I went a little bat-shit crazy when I found out other people obsess as much as I do. Is that weird? Don't care.

Landscapes.

2011-08-25T22:52:00.001-05:00

(by Martin T Johansson)

(by luana magalhães.)

Sometimes, I really admire the simplicity and complexity of the environment. The way something so vast can make you seem so small and isolated while also allowing you to feel connected and a part of something.

Beautiful.

Language is Not Transparent

2011-08-25T22:49:00.001-05:00

Mel Bochner at LACMA

First off, this naturally appealed to my sociologically framed mind. I'm interested in linguistics (What, no waaaaay melissa. you? I can't believe it you NEVER talk about that!) and conceptual art tends to deal a lot with linguistics, for those of you non art history buffs/nerds. But I found this piece to be more so interesting because it cuts to the chase, while also leaving you to wonder at its seeming "transparency" in the straightforward message. The piece itself talks about the nature of wording in a seemingly obvious way, so what is that obviousness almost disguising?

#thinkinoffelix. sigh.
MP

Tumblr.

2011-08-25T22:44:00.001-05:00

So i caved and got one. More or less, it was thrust upon me in the interest of getting me "more involved" in social networking.

Anyways, I've been using it, and since I use it for a similar motive as what I use this for (to have an endless trail of thoughts on an internet "sketchbook" that inevitably leads me back to reflecting on Torres), I figure I might as well combine the two. So, as I begin to do that, I will also be updating this with work, but merging the two by "reblogging" (thanks for teaching me your slang, tumblr) the things I find on there on here, with a little explanation,I'm sure, to justify/commemorate my random thought process that dictates why i like the things i like. Also, as a way of remembering what the heck I'm even doing and expanding my conceptual framework, while hopefully engaging your interest. (Sorry to say, that does sort of take a backseat for me here. I'm not a get the followers type of blogger, you see, as seen by my earlier explanation for why i blog)

It could go one of two ways world, and I am trying to be optimistic here.

Mehhhhh.

Who are you, Ed Hardy?

2011-08-14T23:40:00.003-05:00

MP, Fair (In Progress), 2011

Yeah, I realize its out of character. But I've been drawing a lot of skeletons in my sketchbook (Zip it, Tom)

Anyways, I know they're a lot more proportionate/realistic, but I've been inspired by Tim Burton's characters, particularly Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas (Not to mention I've been staring at the cover of David Sedaris' book When You Are Engulfed in Flames for about three weeks now as it sits on my end table waiting to be put back since I finished re-reading it for like the 1000th time).

Anyways, I was watching Nightmare Before Christmas, and naturally my obsessive nature kicked in to thinking about loss and love, which of course led to Felix and Ross, and anyways I ended up slightly depressed but also obnoxiously hopeful in this process. And this same sort of seemingly dichotomous feeling welled up in me again in a very real way while listening to Remy Zero's "Fair". Particularly at the line "So what if you catch me, where would we land?" which almost seemed to inadvertantly address the question I constantly struggled with as a child while watching Disney movies: What happens AFTER the "happily ever after" script text scrolls across the screen? Not to be a "Debbie Downer" as my sister and girl friends constantly referred to me when I asked the aforementioned question, but I feel its a valid one. You found 'your man'. where do you go from there? it really isn't over there. In a not meant to be a cliche hallmark statement, it's really actually just starting.

RZ's lyrics touched on this part of my psyche in that moment, leading me to believe that I'm really not alone in wondering. Finding the person may seem like the hard part, but making it work is really it. And making it work in the amount of time you have is really it.

Well anyways, my obsession with death really isn't a shocker. My painfully new optimism sort of is though, as it has been made clear to me over the past year and a half really and is getting stronger by the day in an out of character sort of way that makes me a little sick. So I've been working with these skeletons I'm obsessing over, as well as these weird floral-like patterns I've been consistently covering pages with since I was about 6. I like imposing seemingly separate things onto one another. (As in something that typically represents life finding itself in proximity to something that typically represents death) Because lets be painfully real; The two things are way more intertwined than we'd care to admit.

“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.”

—	Mitch Albom

Begendings.

2011-07-06T02:54:00.001-05:00

I've been working with the tenuous nature of words for awhile with the carving ampersands and newspaper headline mixups and the whole index card construction of It's Just a Matter of Time (or even my thesis show). So this is really nothing new.

From Pushing Daisies (highly recommend if you haven't watched) I heard in the series finale (Yet another show that was cancelled that I love) the quote "Endings are where we begin", and luckily (or not so luckily, depending on how you look at it) I was actually able to let it sink into my subconscious rather than just shake it off as another one of those cliche statements people throw around to describe their current circumstances.

So anyways, I got to thinking about the statement. I wrote it down (quite largely i might add) and drew a bunch of circular shapes around it (I think I was having a transcendent Torres moment there thinking about the cyclical nature of life represented by the phrase) but I let it go for a different project (Give me a break, I was swamped with Sculpture stuff aka making a room inside of a box). but it's back in full force, along with some other phrases which I'll eventually upload.

Anyways, when re-looking through my sketchbook, i found it and it got me thinking about something Jake had said to me about how we start to die the minute we're born (Jake's an optimist, what can I say?) Then I found about 100 other quotes I wrote surrounding it (I'm very relational... aka seemingly unorganized while being organized... with my sketchbook) that included the following:

Endings are where we begin.
Everything begins to end.
It's just a matter of time.
You already know how this will end.
I end up where I started.
Listen to the beginning cos it'll tell you how it ends.
The end begins.
We begin by beginning.

So from there I decided to also look at the many ways you could read it.

"Endings are where we begin.
Beginnings are where we end"

"End here.
Begin Here."

"Endings are here
Beginnings are here"

etcetera, etcetera, facts for whatever. (Couldn't resist the Radiohead reference once I typed etcetera out)

Best,
MP

Cy on Roman Steps

2011-07-05T14:06:00.001-05:00

US artist Cy Twombly has died in a hospital in Rome, at age 83, the director of the Lambert collection in southern France told AFP.

The artist, who was living in Italy and had suffered with cancer for several years, was hospitalized a few days ago, according to Eric Mezil.

An exposition of his photographs opened last month at the Lambert collection in Avignon.

Mezil, who knew Twombly for 20 years, said he had bought a train ticket to visit him next week.

He last saw him in May, he added, when the artist "was doing fine."

A friend of fellow US artists Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg, Twombly had lived in Italy for 50 years in a town between Rome and Naples. (source)

In remembrance, it seemed appropriate to post Robert Rauschenberg's Cy + Roman Steps (1952) series of photographs.

Rest in peace.

LETTERS

2011-07-01T00:12:00.003-05:00

LETTERS, a photo by melissapeterson on Flickr.

Finally finished scanning. And I love it more everyday.

I only do things that annoy me.

2011-06-30T01:10:00.001-05:00

I get that I'm uploading the second half BEFORE the first. oh well. you should be used to my crazy antics by now.

It's city maps, juxtaposed onto helvetica alphabet. Hand drawn.

MP 2011

Oh life.

2011-06-23T02:01:00.001-05:00

Sometimes in life you meet people that inspire you. Sometimes you meet people you want to inspire. And sometimes you meet people that make you want to fucking stab yourself
-Jamie Oliver.

A-freaking-men.

Done done, done done

2011-06-17T19:01:00.002-05:00

masochist with a marker, pt. 9

2011-06-17T18:09:00.001-05:00

G juxtaposed with a map of Madrid.

K juxtaposed with a map of Philadelphia.

I can’t believe it. I’m actually done with this shit. I'll put up a picture of all of them soon but... it's over.

Until printing, but that should take about 1/100th of the time.

Best,

masochist with a marker, pt. 8

2011-06-17T03:22:00.001-05:00

F juxtaposed with a map of Florence.

M juxtaposed with a map of Seattle.

O juxtaposed with a map of Atlanta.

Q juxtaposed with a map of Copenhagen.

Y juxtaposed with a map of Brisbane.

Can the alphabet just be two letters shorter? Then i’d be done, forever. Kthanks.

Best,